when i was 14 and my father died, i was embarrassed to tell people about it. i am ashamed to be different. i want to be like everybody else.
i remember walking to school with 2 twin boys. one of them asks me - what does your father do? embarrassed, i avoid the question. - look at that car! - i say. he repeats the question several times and i keep on avoiding it. - i am more comfortable with people that already know and to whom i don´t need to tell.
the same is happening to me now. i am ashamed to be differentt. and i am embarrassed to tell people that my son has cancer. what do i tell a person that i run into and who asks me - how are things? - do i just answer an indifferent - 'fine, thanks'? - or do i tell them the truth and then have to deal with my shame? and with their shock, and embarrassment of how to talk to me now?
i am most comfortable with people that already know and to whom i don´t need to tell.
aba david, 27/9/10
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